+2…The New and Improved +1

Carrie Bradshaw spoke of the possible misfortunes of the +1 effect.  Sure, when you have a +1 it feels as dandy as hell.  But, when you lose that +1, you’re not back at 0.  You’re way back at -1.  You feel incomplete without the +1 because you’ve become so dependent on it.  When +1 left, a part of you went with it.

I think this can safely describe what every college girl would attest to experiencing.  The smart ones realize that the majority, not all, of college boys do not want relationships.  And the odds are that if a boy gets sucked into a relationship, he is going to pull out as fast as he can (figuratively, not physically).  Men go through puberty later than women.  They mature in college.   Girls, why put yourself through the trouble of taming a hormone-raging college student?  Not to mention he is surrounded by alcohol, drugs, scantily clad girls, and most importantly, newly-attained individual freedom.  This is a time in boys’ lives when they need to run free.

But when you think about it, the incoming female student body has never been able to run free, either.  When middle school girls start going through puberty, they go through physical changes before the boys do, and thus have to suppress their sexuality from the get-go because there is nobody to share it with.    Hence, girls are sexually repressed from the moment they start becoming sexually instinctive.  Perhaps because girls never have a beginning moment of sexual realization, they never become conscious of their sexuality.  So women carry on with their lives without grasping their inner sexual needs.   Adolescent romance substitutes for sexuality in the female mind.  Yet, girls are not mature enough to fathom love because they do not fully love themselves yet.  Romance comes into play too prematurely— and it is this that poses the following problem.  When girls see that their romance is not reciprocated upon entering college, they are left thinking, “Well, now what?”  Well, now what you shall all come to understand is that this is the time for sexual exploration.

This is where my friend, +2, comes in.  And the great thing about +2 is that he is extremely flexible with me.  He can morph into +3, +4, +5, +6…and the beat goes on.  With +2 boys as my guests, I can afford to lose.  I expect reliability, so when plans fall through with a +1, I tend to overreact about the inconvenience, even though finding a replacement is not difficult.  But hey, if I’m able to keep myself insured with a +2, why not, right?

If Britney Spears can articulate that “three is a charm,” and “two is not the same,” I haven’t the slightest doubt that the rest of the human population can comprehend the concept as well.  Most of my threesomes involve two men and me, but I have participated in the configuration of a man, a woman, and me.  The case of the man-woman-man triangle vs. the woman-man-woman circle never ceases to amaze me.

It is easier to describe the woman-man-woman circle simply because everybody is able to touch everybody at the same time.  One such position I have taken part in within this structure is giving head to the man while fingering the woman, while getting eaten out by the woman.  And the man is fingering the woman, while groping her.  You can imagine the amount of body bending the group needs to achieve this.  Everybody is always touching and being touched by everybody.  It really is just a beautiful thread of consistency.  Oh, yes, I have been the giver of female oral sex.  Addressing the difference in taste— the vagina’s actually not foul at all.  At least I’ve never come across a foul one.  I would say it has a tangy edge that the penis  lacks.  It only feels foreign in the beginning because you are not used to making your tongue and fingers behave that way.  But once you realize that you know the vagina much better than you think, everything starts to perfectly fall into place.  I wouldn’t say I myself am sexually attracted to women.  But as Freud says, women tend to be more bisexual; we like to share.   There is something different about being a part of a group of people in which everyone is sexually communicating with everyone at the same time.  Being caught up in a moment that captures everyone in an equally ecstatic state— it’s a feeling of absolute bliss.