Broken Records
It makes me cringe every time a shvartze walks by. I’m not a racist. I’m not a racist. I’m not a racist. I hate shvartze. I hate shvartze. I hate shvartze.
I think I have jaded myself so much with quantity that I’ve forgotten the meaning of quality. With men, I mean. I go through men like Jews go through blackberries; it’s rather sickening. It’s not even a matter of size. Well, yes, it is. Guys, you know the saying, “It’s not the size, but how you use it.” Do you want to know who made that up? A man with a penis the size of a bottle cap. Please. Find me a woman that would attest to that statement. Seriously, I’m dying to know. But anyway I was originally talking about performance and attraction. Maybe a vagina is a vagina to men. But, I’m not going to shut my eyes during the nooks and pretend that somebody else is there. That’s just gross. There are blind people in China and I’m not appreciating my eyesight? That’s so wasteful. We’re in a recession people. With Obama running the country, I’m really not sure what we’re going to lose next. So I’m just going to utilize everything I have. Yes, I did vote for Obama. I thought I was choosing the lesser of two evils, but I may have had it switched.
Moving on. I hate a guy who just lies there. I hate a guy who refuses to take his shirt off. Be proud of your chest hair and pot bellies! I hate a guy who does not understand the concept of changing positions. I hate pretending to enjoy sex when I’m not. It’s a disgrace to the hobby. The Xanax: you want to do it that’s not my business. But when it effects your performance with me, it is going to affect your sex business. When I have great sex, I keep quiet and maintain the satisfaction for myself. When I have bad sex, well, then I get angry. And I will probably vent in grave detail. Actually I’m kidding. I won’t vent. I will just cringe at the sight of you and will probably never speak to you again. If you would like to make an appeal to my majesty in the scorekeeper’s men’s room, I am open to considering second chances to the articulate and sophisticated.
Gosh I await for that opportunity to return to my life. New York is overrated. I can’t deal with the shvartze calling out to me. I can’t do it anymore. It makes me cringe every time a shvartze walks by. I’m not a racist. I walk down the street, I’m not a racist. I’m not a racist. I’m not a racist. “YO SEXXAY MOTHA I WANNA LOVE YOU. I hate shvartze. I hate shvartze. I hate shvartze. You know what, no, I’m being extremely unfair to the shvartze. The mexicans totally do it, too, it’s wrong to just point the finger at just the shvartze. An average white guy will just blankly stare you up and down. And a Jew will murmur to his friend to look at you so he remains anonymous. Going to sleep. Let’s hope I dream of good sex.
