Jews and Gentiles

Note: Declaring an action deficient does not automatically declare the person behind the action deficient.

I would never say that Jews and gentiles are generally born with sexual differences. However, I would say that culture has had an effect on the way each approach fulfilling their sexual needs. Condemn me for generalizing and for being a prejudiced individual, but I stand stubbornly. Judging from my experiences, there is a difference. Events of this weekend can          Last night I traveled from apartment building to apartment building across campus with my bong, Cricket. Although I keep it in a conspicuous bag, no student or policeman has ever looked twice at it. The benefits of looking like me, right? Between 1 and 2 am, after floating around stop # 2 for a good while, I received a bootie text. Perfect and convenient. I got railed several times, made him come a few times, lost a few earrings… successful night. This experience correlates being a non-Jew with being non-dramatic: No games. Just sex.

And today in the late afternoon I receive a bootie text from a Jew entailing his difficulty in being able to climax during oral sex. This is supposed to entice me with the challenge of making him climax. Like I’ve never heard that one before; only every other nurse-themed porn clip on the internet grapples with this plot. Eventually I give him tentative plans for the evening. Then he adds in, “Wait, can my friends be there?” I tell him that’s something I only do when I am well-acquainted, personally and sexually, with every person in the room. I have to give it to the boys whom I did that with last year; they really put in the time and effort in all of the activities leading up to that infamous Acapulco occurrence. Even if they have the biggest mouthes in the world. There was over a semester before that which they had personal and sexual interactions 1 on 1, 1 on 2, and 1 on 3 with me, building up to that spontaneous gathering in Mexico. I had a mutual respect and friendship with them. Unaware of all of this, the bootie texter tells me in an omnipotent tone that it’s a deal-breaker. The question of whatever made him think he had the same status as the boys a year ahead of him just makes my eyes bulge in awe for the answer. Of course, I am perfectly happy with a boy’s place becoming a sausage festival encircling me, but it alarms me that he preferred it.

What is it about these Jewish boys that makes them so self-conscious about facing me on their own? Well, I can easily answer that: my sexual resume of experience from last year, this blog, the fact that I can actually articulate my thoughts? Understandably, they are scared. But the non-Jews are stepping it up, so why can’t they? Wally says I should have just gone and made them all jack each other off. Probably could have, but I was just too irked.

Also, if you want to get a blowjob in front of your friends, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ASK FOR THE GIRL’S PERMISSION WHEN SHE’S SOBER? For a group of boys who have been frequently labeled as a bunch of jerks, I’d have expected them to be experts. Everybody knows that when you ask a sober girl to be what Dolly Partonberg calls a circus animal, she’s obviously going to say no. It is only when something happens at a non-premeditated instance that it can be hot and sexy. Planning something like that ahead of time is an absolute joke. [Please consider the note at the beginning of the entry]

Why do things have to be so high-maintenance and tedious with these Jewish boys this year. I just cannot deal with it. Sigh. It really doesn’t have to be this way. It probably sounds like I am tearing them to shreds. Honestly, though, I am just trying to understand and tend to their way of thinking. I want to resolve this. I am annoyed by this onus.

Class tomorrow. Let’s cross our fingers that I have a sexy motherfucking GSI/professor to bone.