The Recipient’s Manual of Etiquette
When I was 15, I would buy and read issues of Cosmopolitan because it was “the thing to do.” And for many women, proven by the magazine’s success, it still is “the thing to do.” Cosmo has managed to make itself the mainstream bible of sex for women. But as I got older and began increasing the number of my male victims at an x-to-the-third-power rate, I started to realize a major flaw in the critically acclaimed Cosmopolitan. It generalizes women rather than men, and not in an obvious, explicit way. Yes, it does recognize that there are different ways to please men. It does state that there are different ways to give a blowjob, to fuck, et cetera et cetera. It even brings in real men to answer women’s questions. But…yes, there is the but: it generalizes and stereotypes a woman’s role in the bedroom! Cosmo implicitly states that it is just up to the women to give a successful blowjob. WRONG. A ONE way streak is inevitably going to deprive TWO people from satisfaction’s fullest potential. Cosmo acknowledges the giver, but it completely neglects the tasks of the receiver, and in effect, so have we. While discussing with galpal, Shaxxy D, the best blowjob recipients we’ve ever had, we realized how the significance of a receiver’s etiquette is just so underestimated! I am so sick of hearing about how to give a good blowjob. I know how to give a life-changing blowjob. But what people don’t realize is that the way the man receives the blowjob is so detrimental to a woman’s enjoyment. Yes, women can enjoy blowjobs. Blowjobs can be hot and even intimate on both sides! An oral fixation is not always something that a woman develops on her own. Men, you want to make your blowjobs better? You have the power to do so!! And it doesn’t mean knocking a girl’s throat against your cock. I am going to break down for you men some suggestions for when a lucky lady decides that she wants to suck your dick.
Let’s start with the basics: positioning. Lying down on a bed while receiving a blowjob is definitely comfortable, but extremely limiting. If you are lying down, is it not quite uncomfortable to strain your neck up to watch your woman suck your dick? Not to mention, if you are lying down, the woman is going to position herself to get the most…bobbing leadway. Therefore, men, you are going to be left straining your neck up to watch nothing but a hair curtain. And even if you prop yourself up with a pillow, you will still be watching a hair curtain. And what kind of girl during foreplay is going to say, “Wait! I have to put my hair in a ponytail!” That would certainly ruin the mood.
Sitting on the edge of a surface is better, but standing up for some moment while leaning against something comfortable will enable you to have the sexiest eye contact. My best advice would be to stand against the back of a couch so that your woman can go on the floor and still be able to sneak a sofa cushion under her knees and be comfortably upright. This way, she will have the full 360 degrees of allowance with your beloved cock beyond just bobbing. You will be in the perfect position to hold her hair back and look into her eyes, enabling either intimacy or sexual arrousal; whichever you prefer. Shaxxy D loves having her hair pulled back. It enables her to suck without interference, and it enables you, the man, to feel like you have some control over her while she, in fact, has you by the balls
Shaxxy D with her hair pulled back is able to jerk your dick while sucking and fondling your balls. She is able to deep throat without needing you to push her down. She is able to spin her tongue around your mushroom tip. Did I mention all of these things can now be done simultaneously? Basically, Shaxxy D can do anything and everything all at once, because YOU have positioned her the right way. You will be able to feel stimulation on every square inch…or millimeter, of your dick.
Now here’s my opinion about using your hand to push Shaxxy D’s throat unto your cock: it is usually when you don’t do it that she is going to feel more apt to take on the challenge for herself because the position she’s in just enables her to deepthroat oh so easily! If you push her like that she is naturally going to resist you.
Yet, let’s not disregard the issue of an unenthusiastic cocksucker. This can be the result of many things. There is the chance she does not know what she is doing. If this is the case guiding her may not be such a bad idea, as long as you don’t do it degradingly. Be encouraging, tell her how sexy she looks and just advise her on how she can make the experience better. Also, silent sex is fucking apathetic and even awkward, so why the hell would you want a silent blowjob?! I’m not saying moan like a girl, but moaning a little bit with a comment here and there will prolong her endurance enormously.
Then, there are the girls who simply are not big on the cock and do not particularly enjoy sucking it. If you feel that this may be the case for your accompaniment, you are going to have to play a little mind trick on her. You are going to have to make the blowjob seem completely about her. You are going to need to GENUINELY tell her how fucking sexy she looks with a cock in her mouth. Instead of saying, “oh suck my balls just like that, yeahhh” you’re going to need to word it, “Oh my god you look so fucking hot doing that.” This kind of encouragement has been used on me before, and in these rare moments in which I feel like I am not giving it my all, I feel myself suddenly working so much harder and enjoying myself so much more! Not to mention there is nothing that arouses me further than a man who is insanely turned on by me.
If the woman is somebody you have a friendly relationship with, and not just a one-nighter, see how she feels about bringing a camcorder into the picture. If you prove your trustworthiness to her and get all the paranoia out of the way, a camcorder will make her blowjob experience all about her, and she will love every second of it because she will be the star. And in effect, your experience will be superb. Of course, the camera is NOT for everybody, but can definitely work on a good population of women.
Now, for those of you men who insist on getting to push her head down. I would suggest saving it for right before you’re about to finish so that the gagging does not disable her from lasting. While giving a blowjob, I incorporate the head knocking into what I call my grand finale. Of course, it is impossible for this grand finale to happen if you don’t tell her you’re going to come soon. Telling her you’re going to come soon motivates her to get the job done insanely well. Also, if you’re going to come in her mouth, you want to do it deep in the throat so it goes down easily. If she is not big on swallowing, come on her tatas. And if you sense a brave vibe from her, see how she feels about coming on her face. I am definitely guilty of telling people that jizz is good for their skin after seeing the Joan Rivers episode of Nip Tuck a few years ago. In all honesty I do not know how true this is, but isn’t it fun to pretend it is? Of course, the female race is much more complex and indivualized than I make it out to be. But perhaps my suggestions will make your blowjob experiences better overall. And remember, you DO have a role as the recipient! Whether you are about to start welcome week at college, attend grad school, or beginning/continuing employment…or unemployment in this day and age…sex will always be a part of your life. Remember that.
